“I’m starting with the Man in the Mirror"

Who would have thought that a song title from Michael Jackson would be found in a blog associated with good mental and spiritual health? Well I’m going for it! These words point to the best place to start when you want change. Start with yourself!! Whenever something is happening that you are not pleased with. When things don’t work out the way you wanted them to, that’s the time to look at the Man/Woman in the mirror. I don’t mean the type of evaluation that leaves you feeling worthless. Nor do I mean the type of self-evaluation that highlights all of your faults and short comings. And I certainly am not talking about the type of self-evaluation that leaves you feeling hopeless. I am referring to the type of self-evaluation that leads to hope, the type of self-evaluation that inspires you to believe that things can be different, better, and even more enjoyable. When dealing with interpersonal conflicts: start with recognizing what is your contribution to the situation as it exists. Are you keeping old fights going by saying the one word that ignites? Did you really just throw gasoline on that fire? Are you focusing on past hurts and trespasses? Are you holding people to unfair expectations? If so, think about ways to let those things go. Forgive those who have hurt you. Choose to speak words that are inviting and forgiving. Resist words and thoughts that are divisive. Own your piece to the quarrel andchoose not to keep it going. Choose to do and or say something different. Choose to do and say something kind. Give a gift of forgiveness to someone who needs it desperately. Another possibility is to consider that you are wrong? Maybe you have believed the wrong thing about someone. Maybe you acted in a way that was hurtful. Perhaps you have said the wrong thing or perhaps you have said the right thing at the wrong time. Accept that you are not always right, not perfect and prone to make mistakes. After you have looked closely at yourself and at the situation, choose the option that allows you to be free. That is most usually the route of forgiveness. Forgive yourself for the wrongs you may have committed, forgive the other who may have hurt you, then move on, having looked the man in the mirror squarely in the face.